Peppermint Bark, Anyone?

With the holidays in mind, please enjoy the following guide on how to make peppermint bark (in five easy steps).

1: Purchase your ingredients. You need white chocolate and hard peppermints. I’m partial to the Wilton Candy Melts myself, as they melt beautifully. Get two bags for the two batches we’re planning to make – one for work and one for the family. Remember that we also want to make cake pops later in the week, and buy two bags for that. Nab some Starlight Mints, as well. Big bags are on sale? Score! Grab two, for those two batches. Head home for some melty fun.

2: Prepare the mints. Put on Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original animated one with Boris Karloff, not the Jim Carrey remake). Settle in to watch and unwrap those mints. Split them into four Ziplocks to keep them managable for crushing. Seal ’em up, wrap ’em in a towel, and beat the tar out of ’em with a hammer. Take out your stress. That guy who cut you off on the interstate? That mint is his car window. Pow! Aim for pieces no bigger than a quarter inch (you also get some nice minty dust). All done? Feel better? Good, go get those melts ready.

3: Melt the white chocolate. Pour one bag of melts into a microwave-safe bowl. Half-power in the microwave for a minute, stir, give it another thirty seconds, stir, repeat. Never, ever, ever try to melt this all in one go – you need those breaks to keep the heat even and avoid scorching. When it’s almost smooth, quit zapping, and just stir to melt the remaining bits. Trust me, it’ll work.

4: Mix it up. Grab one of your bags of crushed mints, and dump it on in the bowl of melty chocolate. Stir, stir, stir, then reach for the next bag of mint. After all, we’re making two batches, right? And we have four bags of crushed mints? Hm, that mixed up goo in the bowl looks suspiciously right… crud, we bought big bags of mints. Allow ten seconds for brief, heartfelt cursing (bonus points if you use a language other than your native tongue). Acknowledge that you’re going to need all four bags of melts, and that you’ll have to get more for the cake pops later. Get that stuff out of the bowl before it sets.

5: Finish it. Pour the melty goo out onto a sheet of foil, and smooth as best you can into a layer about a quarter inch thick. Resist the urge to lick the spoon, because we have three more rounds of this. Lick the spoon anyway, wash it now that it’s contaminated, and toss the next batch of melts in the microwave. Consider buying pretty treat bags and gifting peppermint bark to all of your friends.

Happy Holidays!

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One Comment

  1. Kristin says:

    That sounds incredibly yummy!!!!!!!!